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My Brother's Name

from Take Heart, It's Almost Over by Mark McCabe

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lyrics

The last time that we spoke, you yelled in my face
For not helping you up and away from that place
As illness tore down walls you designed long ago
You were shocked and afraid of a friend turned to foe

But I know you didn’t mean it
I know you didn’t mean it
You called me by my brothers name
So I know you weren’t with it

There’s a picture of you that I have on my phone
In your favourite chair like a king in his throne
Reading the paper with the cat on your chest
You are trying to look annoyed but it’s bemused at best

And I know you didn’t mean it
I know you didn’t mean it
You cried as we buried that cat
And I’d never seen you do that

McEwans and pipe smoke, two books a week
Thousands of drawings of forgotten technique
We watched that drift away and no one could speak
You could see it and then it was gone

We slept on the floor for days by your bed
Any words left to say now forever unsaid
Nothing was planned on the day that you died
You did not leave a will, you had not even tried

I hope you didn’t mean it
I hope you didn’t mean it
Tell myself it was just fear
And I hope you didn’t mean it

credits

from Take Heart, It's Almost Over, released June 5, 2020

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Mark McCabe Bristol, UK

Songwriter from the North east of Scotland.
Bristol based.

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